October 31, 2005

Take That, Arnold Schwarzenwhatever!

For all you out-of-staters who are jealous we Californians have such a cool Governor, you should know that Arny, aside from creating movie-style PR opportunities for himself (like the time he ordered city workers to dig a pothole, so that he could stand in front of it and promote the fact that California's potholes are getting filled), also pushed a very expensive Special Election on us To! Save! California!

In Arny's eyes, these issues are A Matter of Life and Death to California's Budget Problems! To be honest, now that I have read the ballot issues, I can't for the life of me see why they are so urgent that they require our tax dollars to bring them to light right now. Therefore, in an assertive effort to throw a proverbial "Fuck You" to the Gov for spending what little money we have: I will vote on every issue except those that are part of the Special Election. Who knew I was into abstinence?

"What the hell will that do," you ask. For some reason, my political philosophies always seem to hinge on the fact that I think there is always post-election analysis. Tiny little men in glasses who crunch and crunch and crunch the myriad of ratios and percentages offered in our racially, financially diverse land of the multi-party system. Future agendas, political platforms, and demographic solicitations, in my opinion, all stem from these analyses. So my hope, my hope here, is that the Gov will hear something akin to this in post-election wrap-up:

"The Special Election showed embarrassingly low voter turnout, less than 7% of California residents voted on Props x, x, or x, while 77% voted on non-Special Election issues. Voting officials say this is the lowest turnout for a non-presidential-election in the history of California. All Propositions related to the Special Election were opposed and therefore, the millions of dollars of expense to Californians for the Governer's agenda, were unfortunately moot."

Yeah! Take that!

October 19, 2005

What the...?

What the...? What the hell time is it? 3:08!! Geez! What the hell am I doing up? I have an 8:45 meeting!!! Goodnight.

October 18, 2005

Musings on San Francisco's Selfish Culture

For a city which is internationally known as a community of concerned activists for every known cause, and then some, there is certainly a large degree of selfishness that runs rampant. Let's just take a look at a few of them:

A lot of the selfishness occurs on the streets, literally, in the manner with which auto drivers and pedestrians tend to feel that they own the roads:

Parking: Now, it's a known fact that parking in San Francisco is a virtual nightmare. Sometimes it takes me 40 minutes to park in my neighborhood, after circling the same streets over and over; and at the end of that 40 minutes, I end up in a spot that requires me to move the car by 8 am the next morning for street cleaning. And the reason for this is... Selfish Parking:
1. Some people either know they suck at parallel parking or they feel their cars are more precious than all of the others, and thus when they park they leave entirely too much space between their cars and those around them. Hey People! If everyone would just park properly, we'd add a few more spaces every block! How cool would that be if we all looked out for each other like that!!
2. Some people drive motorcycles. Not only do I think that's HOT, I also appreciate that they alleviate congestion on the roads. But BIKERS, PLEASE! Don't fucking park your bike in the middle of a car-sized spot!! You already get to bypass traffic, do you really need to spite us by eliminating parking as well?

Double Parking: I'll be the first to admit, due to problem (A) above, I'm a BIG FAN of double parking. You out-of-towners have to keep in mind that there are a significant amount of hills in San Francisco, and if one is schlepping anything slightly heavy, with the wind blowing and the moisture of the fog stripping the the make-up off one's face while one practically rolls down a hill in high heels, you will find double parking to unload and quickly get into comfortable shoes before searching endlessly for some crazy-ass-90-degrees-steep parallel parking mission, is the superior option. However, there are some streets where this is okay, and some streets where it is absolutely selfish:
1. It's a one-way main thorough-fare. Some streets in San Francisco, lo and behold! - are meant to move autos rapidly from one point to another. That means that the streets are 3 lanes wide in one direction and that the stop lights are timed to allow autos to smoothly green-light it at 35mph to the other side of town, or, to another street with similar flow in another direction. People, please don't double park in one of these lanes! It creates a merging bottleneck, road rage for those that don't want to let people merge, and doesn't allow the green-light flow. Is it too much to ask that you double park on the next side street that isn't as busy and walk a half a block?
2. Parking with hazards on before 6pm is another problem for these streets. During commute hours, the 3 lane streets become No Parking zones, and allow a 4th lane to ease the congestion and continue the whole process of moving people quickly to the other side of town. So what do the selfish people do? They pull into a desired spot RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR BUILDING, and put their hazard lights on from 5:35 until 6pm. Yes, people, they sit in their cars (lest it gets towed for illegal parking) for 25 minutes and the result is the same as above. You know what, selfish hazard-light people? Fuck you!

As you can see, with a bit of awareness and consideration for others can spare a lot of San Franciscans from undue high blood pressure.

However, people with cars are not the only street problem. The other is Pedestrians. And let me tell you, they can really screw up the flow:
1. Chinatown. Chinatown in San Francisco is no joke. It is a real and large community and is the heartbeat of SF's Asian-American population. I have absolutely no problem with the fact that Chinatown has such a heartbeat, in fact, it is one of the many things that I appreciate about living here. But its visitors are so many that they simply cannot get across the street in time for the stop light to change. I am not kidding. San Francisco's authorities need to adjust the light times to accomodate the amount of people crossing the street, or someone is going to get killed.
2. General slow walkers: I'm sorry, I may seem like an ugly person for saying this, but there are certain types of people that cross the street in a manner just to fuck with us. Intentional lollygaggers. The pedestrian lights in SF actually count down how many seconds you have until crossing the street is no longer an option, and there are some entirely self-consumed people that just don't care that they only have 3 seconds left before the light turns red. They go anyway, and they take their time. They come from all backgrounds and take their time for a myriad of their own selfish reasons. But again, someone can get killed like that. And for the drivers, who are already frustrated, who are being impeded by your lollygagging, you're not helping our health out either.

OK, so by now you just think I'm the female version of Mario Andretti. But I can assure you that there are other selfish acts in San Francisco happening all the time:
1. The sidewalk/aisle hog: I cannot tell you how many times I have been minding my own business and not taking up much space and helping the general FLOW of life, in which I have been bumped or shrugged or moved out of the way by someone taking up way too much space. Like 2 people walking down the sidelwalk but taking up the whole thing, so much so that I have to gutter myself or purposely hard-shoulder them into awareness. Am I invisible? I mean, shit, I am not Paris Hilton, but I am not some spry piece of a person barely existing. Share, people, share! Be aware. And that goes for the aisles in the grocery store too. Really, I don't take up too much space, why should you?
2. Ladies First - Not: Maybe it's due to the incredible melting pot of diversity here, maybe it's our liberal stand, or maybe it's just because people are simply self-consumed, but there is no chivalry here. Rarely is a door opened for a woman or an elder, rarely does a man exiting a building at the same time a woman is entering step out of the way to let her pass. One of my girlfriends told me once that the trick is to look him in the eye and stand your ground, but I can assure you that rarely works. Even with an added smile. Come on! I am all for equality but every woman needs to feel a little bit a lady. So for you few and random strangers and friends that actually DO make that happen, thank you. For you others, you'll never be a Craigslist Missed Connection if you don't.

On a final note, I'd like to consider myself one of the considerate and aware. You've probably already gathered that. However, I can tell you it's very, very tiring. In this self-absorbed culture, one's consideration for others is rarely noticed or appreciated. Which, in fact, makes it even more difficult to NOT fall into the hard cold selfish cycle: "I did consider that person, and that person didn't even notice or appreciate it, so why bother?" That is why, when someone does hold a door open, or let my car merge in, I always say thank you. I hope it is enough of a lift for those people to continue on in their polite endeavors. I certainly hope so, because, as I said, going unappreciated is very tiring.

October 12, 2005

I Hate It I Hate It I Hate It!

I am in agony here, on many physical levels.

I strained my sacral ilium. Know what that is? That's my butt. Right butt cheek, to be exact. Not so good for someone about to run 13 miles.

The answer, from Mr. Sports Medicine Doc, is an anti-inflamatory. Seems easy enough, but I'd almost prefer the pain in my ass. Two pills a day, and must, I quote: "MUST be taken with food." So I take them with food. Immediately I get shooting pains like my stomach lining is ripping out. To rationalize, I try to imagine how bad it would be if I actually didn't heed the warning and had taken them WITHOUT food. Man.

Next: extreme upset stomach. So, the food I have just eaten, to soften the blow of this apparant poison disguised as an anti-inflamatory, is not taking the mix so well. I went to 2 parties last night and couldn't enjoy either one what with the running to the bathroom.

Because of the impending discomfort, I don't eat throughout the day, as I know it will only upset my stomach further and lead to a life in the WC. As dosage time looms, I recoil even more from it all. I am starving with an upset stomach and the lining is ripping out and I know that eating and taking more pills will only continue this horrible cycle.

I feel so sick...so sick...honestly, I can't express it... and I'm hungry..so hungry... yeah, I'd definitely prefer the pain in my ass...

October 11, 2005

Fuddy Duddies and Wet Rags

Two parties tonight - like I said, it's Event Season!

First up was the Centennial bash for my Association. B-O-R-I-N-G. Among the fuddy duddies and the shrimp and oysters, Mr. Most Eligible Mayor came down and gave us some canned speach that seemed geared toward some other crowd. Quite frankly, as handsome as he is, his speach didn't make a damn bit of sense.

Second party was the Pool Toss, an acclaimed SF Benefit where local celebs are auctioned off to the highest bidder to be thrown into an outdoor pool at the Phoenix Hotel. With the stomach upset (see above post), I was at this point in no mood to be standing outside in 57 degree weather to not drink and to watch people throw thousands of dollars toward a good cause. Unfortunate, I know. Especially when I didn't enjoy all of the lacrosse players in just their trunks.

The two bonuses of the Pool Toss were (in ranking order): 1) One of the volunteering "tossees," a current NFL football player for who knows what team, in direct response to being disrobed by models, turns to the crowd in his scivvees complete with erection! Ha ha ha. Well done. 2) being chatted up by the SF Chron's most recently "volunteered" into early retirement Editor, Ken Garcia. (Apparantly, without alcohol in me, I was a boring conversationalist, as he didn't chat me up for long.)

One more event and I think the season is done. I'm tired; so is my Event Season wardrobe, and I'm just getting ready to ignore Halloween.

October 07, 2005

Flying High

For those of you who don't live in San Francisco, it's now "summer." And summer means Event Season.

So, not only do we have the nice weather (finally!! tank tops!!), but we have a shit load of activities to occupy our weeknights and weekends.

Last weekend was the Bluegrass festival with headliner... Dolly Parton! Woo hoo! I didn't go. And! Shakespeare in the Park! I didn't go to that either.

This weekend we have a very patriotic show for everyone, that's right... The Blue Angels! The most acrobatic of the US Airforce! Go Blue and Gold! It sounds like there's a WAR going on over here!

Last night I went to a 7x7 Magazine (SF is 7x7 sq miles) party at the W hotel. Awesome. All photo ops that I didn't get asked to participate in. Hmm. The party was great but too loud, so I know I am getting old. They cut the booz at 10:30, I saw them closing up the bars, left winggirl WR for a moment and pretended to be on my mobile while I sneekily swiped 2 Heinekens before they carted all the alcohol away. We spent 8 minutes pillaging our purses for something adequate to use as a bottle opener. I kept hitting my beer bottle on the table edge with no success. Finally we just asked a guy cleaning up for an opener - he didn't care they weren't serving anymore. After all, how much havoc are 2 way too sober girls like us gonna do?

The videographer was a high school alumn of mine who introduced his cute blonde "associate" to us at the beginning of the night. He stopped by as we were finishing our Heinekens and told us he was looking for the afterparty, would let us know. Later he took my card and told us we'd all get together to have a video watch party. THEN! Then he told us he was married (no ring) to his "associate." WTF, man, WTF?? Not that I was even slightly interested, but if you film celeb weddings for Courtney Cox (now Cox Arquette) and the like, you better tell people you're married. And wear a ring, for crying out loud. Poor "associate."

Our handsome, young and recently single Mayor Gavin Newsom, who is on the fast track to Mr. President (except for his unabashadley nonconservative pro-gay-marriage stance), showed up at the magazine party, and was hanging for most of the night. Lots of girls talking to SF's newest Most Eligible Bachelor. People taking pics. He's such a non-Kennedy Kennedy. I am going to a black-tie gala Friday night where he will be doing the opening speach, and he will also be at the City Hall reception that my centennial committee is having on Tues night for our association, so I will be at 3 functions with SF's MEB in less than a week. I doubt he'll notice.

On a final note, I'm finally getting into "The Club." As in, the only private club (er, maybe the only publicized private club) in San Francisco. Got invited to a birthday party at Otis. Very excited to see how pretentious everyone will pretend to be. More importantly, how do I go to a magazine party, a black-tie event, a wedding, a Centennial reception I'm hosting AND a private club with only 4 dresses in the closet????