October 31, 2005

Take That, Arnold Schwarzenwhatever!

For all you out-of-staters who are jealous we Californians have such a cool Governor, you should know that Arny, aside from creating movie-style PR opportunities for himself (like the time he ordered city workers to dig a pothole, so that he could stand in front of it and promote the fact that California's potholes are getting filled), also pushed a very expensive Special Election on us To! Save! California!

In Arny's eyes, these issues are A Matter of Life and Death to California's Budget Problems! To be honest, now that I have read the ballot issues, I can't for the life of me see why they are so urgent that they require our tax dollars to bring them to light right now. Therefore, in an assertive effort to throw a proverbial "Fuck You" to the Gov for spending what little money we have: I will vote on every issue except those that are part of the Special Election. Who knew I was into abstinence?

"What the hell will that do," you ask. For some reason, my political philosophies always seem to hinge on the fact that I think there is always post-election analysis. Tiny little men in glasses who crunch and crunch and crunch the myriad of ratios and percentages offered in our racially, financially diverse land of the multi-party system. Future agendas, political platforms, and demographic solicitations, in my opinion, all stem from these analyses. So my hope, my hope here, is that the Gov will hear something akin to this in post-election wrap-up:

"The Special Election showed embarrassingly low voter turnout, less than 7% of California residents voted on Props x, x, or x, while 77% voted on non-Special Election issues. Voting officials say this is the lowest turnout for a non-presidential-election in the history of California. All Propositions related to the Special Election were opposed and therefore, the millions of dollars of expense to Californians for the Governer's agenda, were unfortunately moot."

Yeah! Take that!


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