During allergy season, refrain from taking Sudafed and then having 2 cups of coffee. That is, unless you like being in an uneasy jittery panic for 4 hours.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
March 22, 2007
February 08, 2007
Ha ha ha ha!
I'll have to translate for you, but this (to me) is hilarious....
... a message from my French meet-up group (to which I have not gone yet after 4 months) about the St. Valentine dance ("ball"):
SI les hommes sont timides a inviter les femmes a danser ... elles peuvent les inviter! & bien sur un Monsieur ne refuse jamais a une femme de danser avec elle. Dansez, amusez-vous Seul/e ou avec un/e partenaire peu importe! l'idee c'est de danser & de s'amuser. Que personne ne reste
assis/e. N'oubliez pas que la musique & la danse sont un elixir pourl'ame & le corps...
"If the men are too timid to invite the women to dance, the women can ask the men! And, of course, a "gentleman" never refuses to dance with a woman. So everyone dance and have fun, individually, with a partner or as a group, it doesn't matter! The idea is to dance and have fun. Nobody should be sitting. Don't forget that music and dancing are an 'elixer' for the body and spirit..."
Ha ha ha ha! Nevermind the previous email, which I won't pain you with in translating, about the "dress code."
... a message from my French meet-up group (to which I have not gone yet after 4 months) about the St. Valentine dance ("ball"):
SI les hommes sont timides a inviter les femmes a danser ... elles peuvent les inviter! & bien sur un Monsieur ne refuse jamais a une femme de danser avec elle. Dansez, amusez-vous Seul/e ou avec un/e partenaire peu importe! l'idee c'est de danser & de s'amuser. Que personne ne reste
assis/e. N'oubliez pas que la musique & la danse sont un elixir pourl'ame & le corps...
"If the men are too timid to invite the women to dance, the women can ask the men! And, of course, a "gentleman" never refuses to dance with a woman. So everyone dance and have fun, individually, with a partner or as a group, it doesn't matter! The idea is to dance and have fun. Nobody should be sitting. Don't forget that music and dancing are an 'elixer' for the body and spirit..."
Ha ha ha ha! Nevermind the previous email, which I won't pain you with in translating, about the "dress code."
October 31, 2006
Boo
I hate Halloween. Always have. My parents are out of the country so I've been staying at their house watching the PET. Having to be here to hand out candy has been a nice excuse not to go to Halloween parties, or the ever-famous Castro Street, or any other SF Halloween-bizarro event.
The conversation of the night:
Ding Dong. I go to the door.
The next door neighbors' kid and 2 of his 7 year-old pals are there. I wait a moment for Those Words. They don't come. No kids say trick or treat anymore!
Me: "Wow! Look at YOU guys!"
One of the Kids: "Your parents are in Madagascar?"
Me: "No, they're in Casablanca."
OOTK: " What's Casablanca?"
Me: " You'll find out when a girl makes you watch the movie."
The conversation of the night:
Ding Dong. I go to the door.
The next door neighbors' kid and 2 of his 7 year-old pals are there. I wait a moment for Those Words. They don't come. No kids say trick or treat anymore!
Me: "Wow! Look at YOU guys!"
One of the Kids: "Your parents are in Madagascar?"
Me: "No, they're in Casablanca."
OOTK: " What's Casablanca?"
Me: " You'll find out when a girl makes you watch the movie."
September 01, 2006
Jake Gets Pooped
I'm taking care of a friend's pets yet again. It hasn't been all roses like I had anticipated: having a happy-go-lucky yellow lab obediently by my side for all adventures, having the cats curled up on the couch next to me for an evening of reading or boob tube. There must be something in the water out there in Tiburon because one or both of the cats has diarrhea and, since Wednesday, so does the dog.
Yesterday I took the dog on a hike, which he loves because he gets to be off leash, smell around and frolick behind me and then sprint up ahead to lead the way again. About 15 minutes into the trail I hesitated to continue: not only was there a new trail I could go down, but I also smelled the faint hint of smoke. Is there a fire smuldering somewhere down the path? If so, which path? What if I take this path straight back but the fire is starting on the path to the left, and by the time I come back the exit will be cut off by flames... I'll perish like a trapped rabbit! But, what if the fire is on the trail straight ahead? Can I run fast enough to outpace a forest fire? And then I sniffed the air again, and couldn't smell fire anymore, so continued on my way.
After feeling comfortable walking with little probability of encountering flames, I noticed that everytime Jake ran in front of me he seemed to have really bad gas. Geez, dog, what the hell have you been eating? We trudged along him gassing away and me exhaling the fumes away from me, and I thought I heard a mountain bike coming. The dog is pretty good about sticking to one side of the trail or another... until a person approaches either running or biking, so upon thinking a biker was coming I ordered Jake to stop so I could catch up and hold him out of the way. As he stopped and turned I freaked out.
Jake was bleeding from his neck! Oh no! What did he catch himself on? Poor puppy! As I ran closer I began to see... see exactly why the dog was emitting such foul odors - it wasn't blood smeared from his jawbone down his chest, it was shit. He must have slipped in his own poop earlier on the trail. Poopy faced Jake and I finished our walk, I tried to clean him up as much as possible before putting him in my car (unroll all windows, open sunroof!), taking him home and then having to give him a bath (which he despised). By the time I finished that, discovered ants covering the cats' food bowl and dealing with that, it was 9:00pm.
Ah... another day in paradise!
Yesterday I took the dog on a hike, which he loves because he gets to be off leash, smell around and frolick behind me and then sprint up ahead to lead the way again. About 15 minutes into the trail I hesitated to continue: not only was there a new trail I could go down, but I also smelled the faint hint of smoke. Is there a fire smuldering somewhere down the path? If so, which path? What if I take this path straight back but the fire is starting on the path to the left, and by the time I come back the exit will be cut off by flames... I'll perish like a trapped rabbit! But, what if the fire is on the trail straight ahead? Can I run fast enough to outpace a forest fire? And then I sniffed the air again, and couldn't smell fire anymore, so continued on my way.
After feeling comfortable walking with little probability of encountering flames, I noticed that everytime Jake ran in front of me he seemed to have really bad gas. Geez, dog, what the hell have you been eating? We trudged along him gassing away and me exhaling the fumes away from me, and I thought I heard a mountain bike coming. The dog is pretty good about sticking to one side of the trail or another... until a person approaches either running or biking, so upon thinking a biker was coming I ordered Jake to stop so I could catch up and hold him out of the way. As he stopped and turned I freaked out.
Jake was bleeding from his neck! Oh no! What did he catch himself on? Poor puppy! As I ran closer I began to see... see exactly why the dog was emitting such foul odors - it wasn't blood smeared from his jawbone down his chest, it was shit. He must have slipped in his own poop earlier on the trail. Poopy faced Jake and I finished our walk, I tried to clean him up as much as possible before putting him in my car (unroll all windows, open sunroof!), taking him home and then having to give him a bath (which he despised). By the time I finished that, discovered ants covering the cats' food bowl and dealing with that, it was 9:00pm.
Ah... another day in paradise!
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