The Starlet vs. Top Model, & a bit of Amazing Race

OK people. Now I don't hinge my life on what 18-24 year old girls on TV freak out about, but this is just killing me!

I don't know which show is worse. Nevertheless, I can't help but watch them both!

On Starlet this week, all the girls were freaking out about doing a girl on girl kiss. On Top Model, the girls were freaking out more about their haircuts than posing topless. "Oh! They are bleaching my hair! The horror! The pain!"

Overall, if I had my choice, I'd feel much more comfortable kissing a girl than posing without a shirt on. Maybe that's because I have more confidence in how well I kiss than how nice my boobies are.

I think the fact that I am 32 has a lot to do with this. By now, I know I am one hell of a good kisser. I also am not afraid to say that I believe some women are absolutely gorgeous, and if one of them asked me to kiss them, I think it'd be kind of a compliment! And also, even at this age I am body conscious. Having my hands be the only thing between a camera crew and my little nip nips still seems scary. The other scary part is that the picture would also have to have my face in it, complete with a seductive look. I'm better at "cute" than seductive. So if I had to choose a show to try out for, even though I am way way way past any age limit and probably too short and heavy for either, I'd have to say I'd choose to be on Starlet. But then again, on Starlet you have to go to those silly acting classes that make you look foolish in front of America, and I'd have a hard time taking any of it seriously.

So I guess it's a good thing that I am too old for the age limits of these shows. I think it would be better for me to find a partner for Amazing Race. At least I know I'd be able to kick some serious ass on that show. I wouldn't have any problem with those tasks. I'd pick the more challenging but faster of Road Blocks every time. I'll use my charm and language skills to get us ahead. But my partner would have to be able to make all the travel decisions. I'll just come along to hustle and win.