Random Access. Random Events.

I have a laptop, but I just can't seem to be in the right place at the perfect time for all the posts I have in my head. By the time I start up the old compu, the thought has fleeted.

Here I recap some random thoughts and visuals from the last couple weeks:

1. Pedestrian encounter. Was walking to meet a girlfriend at a close wine bar and walked past a building with scaffolding and a large, lifelike orange man at the the top of the stairway. Correction: real live orange man. Orange headress, orange face paint, orange robes. Hari Krishna's, eat your heart out - you've met your match!

2. Very non-helpful helpful advice. On the afore-mentioned occasion, my friend was running late. Since I need a "holiday event dress," I stopped in a small women's fashion boutique to peruse the wares.
Me to owner: Hi, I'm looking for a fabulous dress for a New Year's Eve wedding. What is the trend this year?
Eastern European Older Gent Owner: Brown is very fashionanable right now. Also, black. Also, this very blue blue. And green, not army green but more like a Christmas green. Red, of course, and...

So basically he named every color in the rainbow and more. Thanks. Very helpful.

3. Score New Client. High End. 'Nuf said.

4. Cute kid scene/Pedestrian encounter. For once after a year of living in my new neighborhood, I walk down Lombard Street ("The Busy Street"), which is on this occasion the most express. It is lined with motels. As I pass the last one, there is a Chinese grandmother outside the "lobby" holding her grandson up to the glass. He is trying to touch the Christmas lights on the inside. The grandmother's face is brimming over with joy. So is the toddler's. As I walk past, I see that the toddler's joy comes from looking at his mother's reaction while she is inside the lobby, taking care of his younger sister, who has some crazy medical-related helmut on her head. I wonder if they are in San Francisco to see a top notch doctor. Then, I don't care. The little girl is oblivious to any sort of condition, and the family is beaming with family togetherness, whether they feel it pouring over me or not.

5. 12 Hour Work Days x 3. Grmph but thanks to the "positive life" books, feeling accomplished.

6. Pedestrian Encounter. After work on Sunday I was fired up and went on a run to tackle the Lyon Street Steps. Four blocks all up a stair set that varies on height and distance level. The downside: it's grueling. The upside: you feel rad afterwards. Especially if you run all four levels twice. Even more if you pass an UBER HOT man several times through the process, and he smiles at you. Smiles at you! Dude! What are you doing to me not bothering me while I am running with headphones on so I appear quadrupally unavoidable? Talk to me. Bump into me. Hell, shove me down the stairs. Now I have to check Craigslist for a missed connection for the next several days.

7. Obligatory Parental Time. There are always pro's and con's to living so close to your parents. Luckily for me, the pro's outweigh the con's all day and all night. I have fantastic parents. They may very well be too good. This past Saturday I had a "girl day" with my mom. In this small big city, as we ventured near and far throughout it's 7x7 sq miles, I ran into 3 people I know. My mom thinks I'm famous. For what, I don't know.

I love spending time with my mom. She's goofy. She's sensitive. She's sincere. She'd give me the shirt off her back and her socks that have holes in them because she's already saving to give me something else. She'd give me her retirement money if she felt I needed it. On this day, we went shopping together for a dress for me to wear to a wedding. She has some very strong opinions about dresses, but she doesn't dress too well herself so sometimes I wonder. The green dress I loved she agreed looked fantastic on me.

Mom: It's very flattering.
Me: Yeah, out of all the dresses so far, my butt looks best in this one.
Mom: It would be great... if you were going on a cruise.
Me: Wouldn't it be great if I were going to a wedding?
Mom: No. That's a cruise dress.
Me: Really? You think so?
Mom. That's a great dress for a cruise; why do you think it's on sale?

We settled on a black, halter top, Marilyn Monroe-type dress. To my mother's glee, the dress was on sale.

8. Pest infestation. Last night I met the Kamakazi Mosquito. Not your normal mosquito... instead he's one who doesn't mind dry, cold temperatures and doesn't waste time ho-humming in your ear. Instead, he is a huge, loud monster that comes screaming by ready to suck your blood and make you suffer. I didn't even think he was a mosquito, until I had 3 bites on my arm in 1:45 flat. I opened the window to freeze down the barracks and hunkered down under the faux-feather duvet. I woke up at 3:30 am sweating like a Scandanavian in a Swedish sauna. I lost several pounds last night, I'm sure of it. Man, those faux-feather comforters really work!

That son-of-a-bitch Kamakazi Mosquito is so obsessed with me that he came into the shower. Bad choice, Kamakazi-san. I kill you with water. Ha!

Later that morning while rinsing the coffee caraffe I noticed a few ants scrummaging around my relatively messy kitchen counter. I killed them with Clorox-infused cleaner. I removed everything from the counter and turned "relatively messy" into "impeccably sterile." I went to work. Upon return, an infantry of ants ignored the previous kills and were coming down the frame of my kitchen window to settle on a few crumbs in the sink. Clorox again. The battle with the pests seems to be won.

9. Party preparation. I am in charge of hors d'oeuvres for a party Monday night. After hours of online, familial and friend referencing, I settled on two appies: endive leaves stuffed with lemon-pepper-infused goat cheese topped with fresh chives and artichoke-parmesian crudites.

I went to the store and they only had 3 endives left. I asked the produce guy if the weak-looking endives would "produce" a tray of stuffed endives. He was honest and said "come back tomorrow morning." F**K that. I changed to baby red peppers stuffed with goat cheese. Out of goat cheese. What the hell kind of grocery store do you call this? I found one packet of goat cheese which I hope is enough. If not, I'll cut the peppers to fit. My Lord; when did making hors d'oeuvres get so hard?