October 31, 2006


I hate Halloween. Always have. My parents are out of the country so I've been staying at their house watching the PET. Having to be here to hand out candy has been a nice excuse not to go to Halloween parties, or the ever-famous Castro Street, or any other SF Halloween-bizarro event.

The conversation of the night:

Ding Dong. I go to the door.
The next door neighbors' kid and 2 of his 7 year-old pals are there. I wait a moment for Those Words. They don't come. No kids say trick or treat anymore!
Me: "Wow! Look at YOU guys!"
One of the Kids: "Your parents are in Madagascar?"
Me: "No, they're in Casablanca."
OOTK: " What's Casablanca?"
Me: " You'll find out when a girl makes you watch the movie."

October 11, 2006

How Greens and Dems Listen to Bush Speaches - They Talk About Dating, Dining, and Dating.

So, I wake up this morning to a droning traffic report from some area into the City, and I don't care cuz I'm in the City already and I'm darned tired, so I set snooze for 6 minutes.

The alarm goes off again... droning from another area into the City... should get up and run... hit snooze for 12 minutes.

Alarm goes of again (and again, and again!) and it is this annoying, incessant and stupid sound, kind of like a mosquito in my ear... oh, crap, it's the 'Prez speaching. Bleck. Turn off alarm and get up. Start getting ready for my meeting since I snoozed through a run. That's what the Green does. There, I said it. I'm Green, and have been for years (go fig, Cali Girl Gertie is All About Trees and Stuff - hey - Save Trestles! and all that jazz).

Greens and Dems Part 1

Not more than 2 minutes into my getting ready, my phone rings. It's 8:15am. "Grandma's dead!" I instantly assume, cuz why the hell else does someone call that early? Oh yeah, it's just a Democrat, who's morning walk with the radio got interrupted with 156 channels of Bush pontificating like a mosquito in the ear.

Gertie: Good morning, Mom.
Mom: I was walking, and then Bush came on, so I took my headphones off, and I thought of a GREAT PLAN for how to confirm your cooking over dinner date with New Guy!
Gertie: You did, huh, surprise.
Mom: Yes, first of all, when you're confirming he will actually show up, don't say "you'll be disappointed" if he doesn't.
Gertie: Mom, trust me. I would never use the word "disappointed" with a man, I'm not that stupid.
Mom: Well, you told me you'd be disappointed if he doesn't keep the date.
Gertie: Right, I will. But you should know that I'm very well schooled in "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus..."
Mom: I've never heard of that book
Gertie: ...and I've also read "Mars and Venus on a Date," "The Rules," and "He's Just Not That Into You," etc., etc., etc. So believe me, what I say to you is by no means literal to what I will say to him. What I'm telling you is Woman to Woman.
(Somewhere inside, my mom gets excited about the fact that we speak woman-to-woman, but she doesn't say it. It's the .2 second pause between her unstoppable conversing that indicates this joy. Correction: overjoyment. Or whatever.)
Mom: So I bought a book to bring to your Nephew....

There was way more to the conversation, including some menu and meal prep tips, which I didn't hang too heavily on since I'm not sure the "having dinner at Gertie's" date is actually going to happen Thursday. Since I'm sparing myself from over-anticipation, I'll spare you, too.

Greens and Dems Part 2

This is the e-mail subject line I received from my Dem Best Friend at 9:15 (was Bush was still talking or were people just talking about Bush talking?): "Major JUNK FOOD consumption alert." This e-mail contained a long list of crap my friend and soon bride-to-be had thus far consumed during the day (which apparantly had only started 15 minutes ago), then finally curtailed, after a diatribe of side-splitting laughables, to ask me to confirm a certain restaurant was "still good" so she and her fiance could dine there tonight. I replied I had last been there when our local Fox anchorman had no grey hairs, and recommended instead the newer place down the street.

Best Friend: YEah? Why do you like Houston's? From the outside, it always reminded me of a post frat Taylor's [in Boulder, CO] with steak? But it's okay?
Your description of Houstons is spot on. However, you have to remember that I am a little more ON the beaten path than you are... I actually like places that give me the opportunity to meet people of a [educational/career] caliber which I would like in a mate. Unfortunately, a lot of these places also offer the post-collegic riff raff that you and I love to abhor. It's the sorting that I have to do, and don't mind doing, that is no longer in your to-do list, that may inhibit you from further investigation of such places.
So you see? There were a couple of people today who weren't listening. Charlie Brown's Teachers, that's what it sounds like, and for some of us, it's enough annoyance to turn it off. And tonight at dinner with some friends, I was surprised to hear about an upcoming Supreme Court ruling on abortion. Wha? With all this "Foley is a Gay Previously Molested Pedophile!" crap I didn't hear BOO about an abortion ruling. Geez. If people would just ever ask me anything, like say, "hey, you worked for corporate Gap, do you think this guy Foley is gay?" then we wouldn't have these issues taking our precious newshour time. Because if someone woulda just asked me, I could've told you in a Gap Second that YES, he's friggin' gay. Obvious and of little importance considering NO ONE is talking about what the Supreme Court is changing about abortion rights. Which, by the way, I would link to here, except I am totally unaware. And a little bit frightened about, to be honest.

October 07, 2006

Beef Jerky

He's such an asshole, er, jerk, er both. Ugh. Opposable thumbs, we should have stopped at opposable thumbs. This man is driving me crazy.

I told you before that my mom loves this guy, but OH, if she knew, if she knew how he so easily ruffles my feathers, ooh! OK, you're right. She'd say I'm taking everything absolutely too seriously. And she's probably right. That ass. Stupid ass. To think how many times I've wanted to... uh. OK. We'll leave it at he's a stupid ass.

But it would be nice if Beef Jerky would stop being such a jerk and make me feel special once in a while.


October 03, 2006

Loose Change

For some reason it feels like forever since I've posted anything. Maybe that's because in early August I decided to start leading life by the reigns instead of letting it pull me hither and nither. And so, for the past few months, I've been trying to pick up, organize, and be productive. What I did was eliminate (in half-assed sorta way) effectiveless use of time, and for some reason, staying up till 2a having a few drinks chez moi and pontificating ridiculous thoughts on a blog seemed a perfect thing to eradicate from the routine.

I miss giving some dish, or comments or insights, despite my frequent lapses of judgement for which I regret sharing some outbursts here, and I've found that writing is an important aspect of being a productive person. It clears the pipes, organizes loose change, and let's me rest my brain when my head actually hits the pillow.

The challenge now is to find the time. Since I don't stay up till 2 anymore, it's not as easy to fit in. I've often wished for something that you can just plug into the side of your head and it would translate the thoughts onto a harddrive for editing later. I especially need this now as most of my free-flow thinking time is when I run in the morning. Hey when is iPod gonna add this feature? Then I'll definitely buy one.

The "New Gertie" comes and goes these days. It's pretty hard to make a dramatic life change and stick with it. I'm not getting up at 6:15 anymore, because I'm a big baby and I don't want to run in the dark. Or work before it's light. But I'm still running 2 work mornings a week and the long distance runs on Saturdays. This past Saturday I decided to run over the Golden Gate Bridge and back. I love the Golden Gate Bridge. Something about it's quiet stoicism, I guess.

Another area that has been quiet the past week or so has been work. After a huge rush of activity for 3 straight weeks, I've only got one client right now, and stomping the pavement to drum up new business just plain sucks when nothing comes of it. It gets hard to keep it up. The Bloomingdales and its "premier" mall just opened, and it takes a lot of things on the to-do list to keep me from playing hooky one day to look at stuff I can't afford.

Hey did Gertie tell you she met a guy? Well, I'm still playing this one out. Tough call on this guy, who has met my parents but none of my [close] friends. I have heard him referred to [from my not close friends] as "a dickhead" and "an ass." I concur that he can be these things sometimes, I've seen it in action. Mom is gaga over him. When she met him she pulled me aside...
Mom: I like him, you can just tell he's a good man.
Gertie: You're just sensing the Tribe Vibe, Mom.
Mom: The what?
Gertie: The Tribe Vibe... he's Jewish.
Which probably gave an additional little warm spot to him in her heart. Before the Jewish holiday she suggested I bake him a honey cake. I said "if he ever decides to call me then maybe I would." Basically, I have never been so pulled around by someone I'm dating before. I cannot tell you how many times my best friend has heard "it's over!" and "he called!" in the past six weeks. Ridiculous. Nature should have just stopped with the opposable thumb - it'd be easier on us all.

And that's the weekend update, folks.