If Oprah is SO GREAT... Then Let's Set This Up

OK People. I swear to "God" or some other power or spiritual humanity, that Oprah is a true positive in our time. Some may agree, others may not, but the plain truth is that she moves people. Masses of people in fact; at the very least for only an hour at a time, and at most in a life-changing way. And that's good stuff.

And by now, my readers (yes, again, BOTH of you. Oh, are there more now? Golly!), you know I have some bizarro fascination with Charlie Rose. And if you have been reading lately, you also know how I lament [and praise the fact] that "The Charlie Rose Show" continues minus its main attraction. Indeed, whether Mr. CR is there in person or whether he is replaced by someone of almost equal caliber, it's a really good show interviewing really interesting people from all varieties of passion: current affairs, politics, history, science, the arts...

Now Oprah, Oprah has yet to be on "The Charlie Rose Show." And, well, frankly, I think she is an fascinating character to enter into discourse with. Yes, yes, she has opened her secrect halls of Oprah to all of America, so some might think "what more could we possibly learn about Oprah?" But in my opinion, if you can put friggin' Barbara Streisand in front of Mike Wallace on "60 Minutes" and still get her to open new views of herself, then putting Oprah in front of Charlie Rose may not only take her achievements of "almost" saintliness to new heights, but it may also show us a side of Oprah that is thrice-times-over more dynamic than the one we already think we know.

So. Charlie, Oprah.... Listen to me, here. I know your teams are fielding tags, so don't be so coy. Don't worry; I won't sue you for "taking my idea" of putting you two together for an interview; no, I won't ask for rights (because it is a damn good idea), but I will ask you to give me both personal and ample notice of the airing date! Or, sitting in the live audience as your guest wouldn't be too bad either. Ha ha! And! If you want! Just give me a topic of discussion and I will sit at the table with you - ready, willing and able to give some of my own insights as well. Er, no, I'm not published on any specific issue... why do you ask? Oh really? Ok. No, no problem. I totally understand that you'd want to do the interview without me. Ok. Uh. Yeah....

And a P.S. to Oprah!! - Oprah, here's a funny thing: you don't know, but after I graduated university and then doing a little job stint in France, I came back to the US and started looking for "real" work. While I was searching, I took a temporary job at one of those "paint-it-yourself" pottery places. In my downtime at the pottery job, do you know what I did, Oprah? Among other creative and decorative things, I painted my resume for you on a plate! And it was geared toward getting a job at Harpo Studios. And I was going to send it to Harpo (addressed to you, of course) with some freshly baked cookies on it! How's that for a resume? Oozing with creativity, eh? Handmade; handwritten; completely truly my resume. But I didn't send it. For a couple of reasons, now that I think about it: probably because I hadn't seen your show enough so I didn't have enough confidence in myself at the time that you'd actually a)receive it and b) appreciate the strength of its ambition; and c) because I knew enough about you to know that you like to offer people without other possibilities the opportunity to succeed, and I knew, deep down inside, that I have that opportunity, but I was just not taking advantage to it, and that all I would get from you for knowing that fact is a scowl of dissapointment greater than my mother's. The End.

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• oprah
• charlierose
• charlie+rose
• interviews
• intellect
• philosophy
• culture
• life