I Don't DO Diets

I don't do diets. One time, 4 weeks before attending a wedding in Hawaii, I signed up for Weight Watchers online. The good news: I lost 8 pounds in a month. The bad news: 1) I thought about food 24/7 for 4 weeks. 2) It didn't emphasize healthy eating (what! no fruit juice?!) 3. You need to give 30 days notice to quit, so I wasted $29.99 by not cancelling before I started! I never want to do that again. Food should NOT be something to obess about.

Seeing how I may have a romantic visitor here in 5 weeks, what am I thinking about? My figure. Muscle Mass vs. Body Fat. Bleck.

And do you know what I want right now? I want pizza. Or, better yet, baked goods. Back in the day (the day of what or why I don't know), I had this thing about Bisquick. I f*ck'g loved that sh*t. Do up some batter with just water and some [no, LOTS of] sugar, and you have *BING*: sweet sweet bisquits. A cheap, quick baked-good treasure. And I want some of that. RIGHT NOW!

Sigh. But I don't have pizza. And I don't have Bisquick. I have some Aunt Jemima pancake mix, but what an effort (trust me, if I had fresh eggs in the house it would be no effort at all)! Besides, I'm not in the mood for syrup.

The point is, I don't diet. And I'd like to munch on these things right now, but it's 10:42 pm and I'm smart enough to know (and too lazy as well) that falling under pressure will disrupt my muscle-to-fat ratio and therefore make me feel like crap when the Dutchman comes.

OK. I feel better now. Thanks for letting me let that out. Bisquick.