She Found Me!

[Ed note: all the links go to the same old post, so don't get too excited]

Don't know why the first post about this didn't post. Actually, I do. Thanks, Rifka. Yes, Rifka, even though you are now a big bumbling fly, you are right - I do spend too much time on the internet....

At my old place, in "The Haight" in San Francisco, there was this big, black bumbling fly that used to come in and a-buzz-buzz-bumble all over the place. Even my friends noticed it. At the time, I had named her "Big Bertha The Fly." She most liked to hang out with me late at night while watching TV or early in the morning, in the bathroom (!), while getting ready for the day.

One day, I told one of my friends who had noticed her "distinguished" presence, that this fly liked to hang out at my apartment quite often. So often, in fact, that not only did I name her, but I started to contemplate the lifespan of flies, and wondered if this was just ONE fly the whole time, or a variety of similar flies who happened to like the space, or, if the lifespan of a fly were quite short, were these all multiple flies who were the offspring of the original fly (Big Bertha) who had created a home for herself in the confines of my same space?

Just before I considered myself 100% crazy, said friend suggested that the fly was my Deceased Grandmother. And, in a strange way, it made sense. So I accepted the fly as the conscious efforts of my Deceased Grandmother to pass judgement on my every life move, and renamed it "Rifka," Hebrew for Rebecca (which was the name of my Grandmother - original nomiker Jayne, or Rebecca... who knows at this point, as she was very vague on both this subject as well as The Great Depression). Imagine the power that [stupid- in parentheses in case the fly can read. Well, if the fly can read, then I'm in big trouble anyway] bumbling fly had.

Yet apparantly, she, the omnipresent Rifka The Fly, continues to wield her power. Just 3 measley months after moving, here She is. A-buzz-buzzing (in her opinion "hanging out"), out of nowhere!, with me in the bathroom here in my new place in the Marina, while I have my head upside down in a very lame attempt to tame some of the most untamably thin hair known to man. And this fly, Rifka, while buzz-buzzing around, is complimenting me on my interior decorating, but is also issuing blasphomes to my father's side regarding the genetically deficiant hair situation. Not only that, but Rifka is telling me to stop staying up so late, that successful people in this world have always been early risers, and that brownies are not a good breakfast and losing 12 pounds just because you had a rough time breaking up with an idiot man is no excuse for being thinner. Also, she is only partially accepting of the man I just had a date with, because he is Persian in origin, which means he is from Iran. Additionally he is leaning very strongly toward a nomadic life, which is not acceptable at all for a woman such as myself, according to Rifka The Fly, and why should I give him some milk before he leaves on his next adventure without me? Well, the Fly is a-buzz-buzzing way ahead of herself, but that's not the point, I guess.

As you can clearly see, this fly is not at all me superimposing internal concerns on an immaterial yet possibly omnipresent and naturally appearing insignificant insect. This is obviously Jewish Guil---er -- I mean--- Jewish SENSIBILITY --gone haywire and disguising itself as a bumbling foolish insect. Right? Right??

Tags:

• life
• afterlife
• funny