Ghost of My Christmas Past: A Very Foul-Mouthed Tribute

I feel sick, People, I do. In a "stupid girl" sort of way:

At this very moment, someone who was quite precious to me for over a year (ok, ok, I'll call him a past boyfriend, but I'm trying not to get sappy here) is flying over the Atlantic Ocean to San Francisco. Again!

He was here to visit me over this past Christmas. And it was... well, pleasant... okay... quiet. December in San Francisco is a very quiet time. But! It was mellow and good, and he was sweet, gentlemanly, charming; he took care of business, and me; he held my hand in almost all the right public places, and altogether I thought things were moving along swimmingly. Over the Big Pond. Stupid girl.

Shortly after his return to his country, he dropped off the Western Hemisphere, and as much as I tried to rationalize in a very Dr. Phil-way, it was still tough. And! Just as my emotions, which went from relief to rage to compassion (actually I think they went in reverse order), were starting to subside altogether (just recently really; this friggin' MONTH for Chrissakes), I caught wind that he was coming to My City. This. Weekend. This weekend!!

Upon hearing this, the 3 guys I have been intermittently and very casually dating for the past several weeks disappeared into the shadows. The EX's encroaching arrival has pushed all others out of sensory perception. That [H]ucker.

The irony is, in my still "fragile" state, that he is damned if he does and damned if he don't. Call me, that is, while he's here. Because honestly, if he doesn't call me this weekend to let me know he's here, he's an ASSHOLE. And if he does call me while he's here this weekend, he's STILL AN ASSHOLE. Pardon my French.

I guess the good news is, that in my "cub reporter" kinda way, I know what most of his footsteps will be while he's here this weekend, so I can avoid him best a girl can. And I'm lucky enough to be having a windsurfing lesson (!) this Saturday (he'll be nowhere near there!), but man oh man: if you ever wanted to meet Gertie, this is THE weekend to do it - because she will look SUPER HOT every time she steps outsider her door. Sha-Boom! I see you there, shakin that ass, shakin that ass...

Tags:

• life
• relationships
• sucky